The First Step

I realized I needed to be more intentional. I spent too long feeling that I had no close friendships besides my wife. I wasn't meaningfully connected to men in the church, either as mentors or friends. There were a few I got along with, but it always seemed that whenever I found a worthwhile connection, something would create a separation. Life would take that person out of my path, and I was horrible at maintaining the friendships. I had just been participating in the friendships that came along, and not pursuing them with intentionality. I had to change that.

Freedom > Safety

Around the same time as I was feeling down about my friendships, my brother needed a place to stay for a while. We had a large walkout basement that was perfect for what he needed. We actually hosted most of my family at some time or another in that basement, but having my brother, Ben, there was different. Ben is always on the move. He's always looking for adventure, and it usually, at that time, meant kayaking. I had been living my adult life in what I considered "safe" ways. I would just go home from work, play video games or watch TV, eat, and go to bed. Then, I would repeat the cycle. No guy's nights, no camping, no outdoor activities, and no risk. Suddenly, I was presented with an opportunity to get outside, fish, camp, kayak, and more. I really connected with Ben through that time. I did things that scared me like rock climbing or whitewater kayaking, but the connection I was able to share with my brother outweighed the feeling of risk. I felt a thrilling sense of freedom as I shot through rapids, or as I strategized my next move on a challenging climb. Through those activities, I saw a way to connect initially with other guys at church.

The Buffalo

Inspecting the bluffs along the Buffalo on a COLD kayaking trip

The Buffalo National River in Arkansas is one of my absolute favorite places in the state. My very first canoe trip was on that river. The trip was rough...really rough. We were at church camp and were told we were going on a canoe trip. It would be pretty quick. It was only 8 miles of fast, but not crazy water. All of us were excited and energetic as we got on the bus with the anticipation of an adventure on the water. It was absolutely an adventure. Yvon Chouinard, the founder of Patagonia, is quoted as saying, "the word 'adventure' has gotten overused. For me, when everything goes wrong - that's when adventure starts."

We got out of the bus, set out in our canoes, and realized in moments that the river was extremely low. We would scrape across the bottom until we couldn't paddle any longer, step out of the boats, and carry them until there was enough water to start paddling again. It was excruciating work. By the end, we all guessed we might have carried the boats nearly half of the 8 miles of that trip. The excited, energetic kids that got on the bus were not the same bedraggled, exhausted kids that got back on the bus at the end of the trip. We were beat...and I LOVED it. The time we spent dragging or carrying the boats gave us so much time to see the place we were walking through. The bluffs, the water, and the surroundings just captured me in a way that is hard for me to describe in words.

Now, as I began to get back out on the lakes and rivers of our beautiful state, I remembered that experience and began to go back as often as I could. I was going to try to find a way to connect with the guys in our church fellowship in an effort to deepen my own fellowship outside of the Sunday and occasional Wednesday "churchy" routine. I feel that God blessed that intentionality. While most of the guys my age weren't as into doing anything like that, our college-age guys were up for a challenge. I took a weekend job at a local kayak outfitter to both buy my gear without any impact on our budget, and to learn what I could about the sport. I then introduced many of the younger guys to kayaking. I also began to get to know the new youth pastor that our church had recently hired. He was a backpacker but hadn't done much kayaking. I went on a few backpacking trips with him, and eventually took him and his son on a new adventure for them. A kayak/camping trip. We used the same gear we would have while backpacking, but stuffed into our kayaks to equip us for a 2-day adventure on a local lake.

Over the next year, we took several day trips and overnight trips to the Buffalo, the Illinois, and other local bodies of water. I broke the habit of staying in the "safe" routine I had been in for so long, and developed a friendship that is, to this day, one of the deepest I have with another guy. We talked about faith, our families, our walk with Christ, and our views of what the time out in the wilderness meant to us. For me, it has been a time of renewal, reflection, and often a time to listen to God's calling. In fact, my call to teach in our church came while I was paddling on the Buffalo.

Disconnecting to Reconnect

Both kayaking and backpacking draw participants closer to nature, offering time away from screens and an opportunity to reconnect with God’s creation. Most of the areas we visit in the Ozark National Forest or the Buffalo National River areas have little to no cell phone coverage. We are forced to disconnect from social media, email, text messages, and the general distraction that our phones can become. We can reconnect with God's creation. The wilderness can invoke a wonder and reverence. Many people report feeling nearest to God during moments by the water's edge or beneath expansive mountain views. For example, 64% of outdoor enthusiasts confirmed they experience a sense of spiritual connection while in nature. For me, nature is a cathedral of God's design. No manmade structure will ever inspire the same level of awe I feel while I'm on a beautiful river like the Buffalo. Sharing these sacred moments with friends not only deepens our spiritual walk but also boosts accountability in faith.

Embrace the Adventure Ahead

Outdoor activities like kayaking and backpacking are not just recreational. They present a shared struggle that can provide a meaningful way to build lifelong friendships and nurture spiritual growth. By stepping into nature with companions, we encounter exciting challenges and peaceful moments that can lead to significant spiritual insights. The trip may be tough or not go as planned. The more the struggle, the greater the adventure. So, gather your friends, pack your gear, and take that first step into the great outdoors. It may mark the beginning of a beautiful journey in friendship and faith, and along the way, you may just find a fellow warrior.

Great friends at the end of a hike on Indian Creek

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