The Beloved

I was there for it all, ever since the beginning when He called my brother James and me. Peter and Andrew quit fishing and followed Him, and when He called us to follow, we just did. I felt that there was something meaningful about this man, Jesus.

I witnessed so much over the last few years. Blind people received sight, lepers were completely cleansed, and crippled and lame people were able to walk. The miracles themselves were amazing, but the most profound thing was that He often told the healed person, "Your sins are forgiven." Who besides God has that power?

He was not a rabbi, but he seemed to know so much more than they did. He confounded them, outthought them, and often angered them. So many times, he would talk about Abraham, Moses, David, or the prophets as if he knew them. He taught us the entire time we were with Him. I now understand why He seemed so familiar with our fathers.

I have seen who He really was. We had joined Him as He went up to the mountain to pray. He would sometimes pray for a long time. We were terrible at staying with Him and joining in prayer. This time, we had fallen asleep. Something jarred us awake, and as things began to register, we saw Him shining. His face had changed, and His clothes were dazzling white! Two men were with Him, and it seemed that they were Moses and Elijah. Peter wanted to put up a monument. Suddenly, a cloud came down over us, and we were afraid. In the cloud, a voice said, "This is my Son, the Chosen One; listen to Him!" Jesus was indeed the Son of the Most High God!

We shared our last meal with Him this week. He had been talking about His death and saying that His time was coming. Peter seemed to want to do whatever he could to prevent it, but Jesus knew what was coming. Jesus washed our feet, served us, and taught us throughout the meal. When He broke the bread, He talked about us remembering Him in that ceremony. He called the bread His flesh and the wine His blood. None of us really knew how to take that. Judas left during the meal. I'm not sure any of us were prepared for the role he would play. Jesus told us that one of us would betray Him, so I leaned in to ask who. He let me know, but I had no real sense of the gravity of the betrayal.

After the Passover, Jesus led us to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. As we walked, He taught us things related to what we passed. As we walked past the vineyards, He called Himself the vine and said we were the branches. He encouraged us to remain in Him and said we would produce much if we would just abide in Him. So much was shared on that walk. I know I can't express it all.

Once again, some of us slept as Jesus prayed. I was able to catch much of what He said as He prayed to the Father for the things that were about to happen. He prayed for those of us who had followed Him. I knew that I was loved by Him as I heard the words He poured out to God. He prayed for all who believe in Him. He wanted us all to be united in Him.

As we left and went across the Kidron Valley, we saw Judas coming with temple police and priests. Judas identified Jesus by kissing Him. A show of affection was the way that Jesus was betrayed. The police began to take Jesus, and in a rage, Peter took a sword and swung. It sliced off the ear of a slave of one of the priests. Jesus rebuked Peter and healed the slave as He was being taken into custody.

There was a trial, but it was a sham. Jesus had angered the priests for so long that they were out for His blood. He had to stand before the high priest and give an account. Peter lost his resolve as Jesus was being tried. He denied Jesus. He swore at a little girl and denied that he ever knew Him.

The trial went from Jewish authorities to the Romans. Pilate found no fault in Him, but people insisted that Jesus be put to death. It was heartbreaking. Just last week, Jesus was heralded into the city with cheers and praise. Now He was beaten, scorned, and bloodied, and for what? Healing people? Showing others what righteousness really meant?

Pilate had Jesus crucified. I stayed the whole time. Mary was with me as we both witnessed the horror of His execution. He was nailed up instead of tied. He was so beaten that He didn't even look like a person. We could see His bones as He shed His blood. He called Mary my mother, and me her son. I knew He was leaving her in my care.

The skies darkened as if all the evil in the world was convening in that one place. It was a place we called The Skull. The darkness continued for hours, but eventually, it began to lift. As it lifted, Jesus shouted the start of one of the Psalms of David. It was one that many present knew. It was a revelation that I will not forget. David's psalm had predicted what was happening right here. That was the end, really. Jesus died there on that cross. His blood stained the road and the ground around His cross. He had shed His life. He said it was necessary, but all I can feel right now is grief and fear. He's gone. Peter couldn't save Him. I couldn't do anything to keep Him off the cross. He's dead.

It's hard to have hope right now. Our lives were wrapped up in Him. Now we are afraid that the authorities may come looking for us. Judas is gone. Many of us are hiding away. None of us really know what to do next. How do we abide in Him when He's no longer with us? How can we do what He asked? I suppose we will see what happens to us in the next few days.

I was the one He loved. Now I feel that I am the one left alone.

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John seemed to understand who Christ was. He considered himself beloved of Christ. His view of the events of Christ's life was unique. The story he shares is simple but incredibly profound. I will share the final account of this week on Sunday. It presents an incredible shift in the